Back to work!

I’m going back to work this morning.

Woo Hoo!

To my Valentine

Jo Ann,

Over 25 years ago we found each other. We fell in love so fast and sure I was both impatient to tell everyone how wonderful you were and hisitant because I knew our love was rare, never to be known by most.

We’ve been blessed beyond my dreams.

You have been and will always be my Valentine.

Love,

Don

Time to go back to work

I called my doctor today to request a release to return to work. Now all I have to do is wait for the doctor’s office to tell the medical leave agency who will tell my boss who will …

Hopefully I’ll return to work this week.

I feel very good and have seen progress each day.

A strange morning

This morning was very strange. I woke at 5 AM and got up to pee. It was too early to stay up so I went back to bed, but laid there feeling a little strange and unable to go back to sleep until about 5:45 (very unusual for me). Next I woke at 7 AM in the mist of a disturbing and crazy frantic dream.

I got up and tried to function as much as possible like I was going to work; took a shower (longer than normal trying to sooth the stress), dressed for work and went down to breakfast.

I haven’t taken any pain drugs except an occasional Ibuprofen since last Wed. This morning after breakfast (about 8:30 AM) I felt a little sick, achy, shaky and had a craving for vicodin (what I took for pain for 2+ weeks). I’m not kidding, I was craving vicodin even though I didn’t have any pain. It would have been VERY EASY to just take one, but I didn’t.

I was having some sort of withdrawal from the vicodin. The strange part is I didn’t have any pain. The symptoms, the craving, the shaky feeling were subtle, but very real. I sure hope I’m done with THAT!

After breakfast I laid down and went to sleep for about 2 more hours and when I awoke it was all gone and I felt great.

First walk after catheter removal

Monday, Feb 6, my catheter was removed … ouch … what a relief … dang!

This is without question the most frustrating week of my recovery. I feel great, haven’t needed pain medication for a couple of days; but poor bladder control (there I said it) is a real deterrent to focus and function. I don’t want to talk about it and writing is only slightly easier … and Depends jokes just aren’t funny anymore. I just don’t know how to respond when people ask how I’m doing; it’s against my nature to say ‘fine’ when I’m not fine, but I don’t want to talk about this.

When my doctor advised prostate removal one of my first questions was how long will recovery take? He said, “some return to work in two weeks, others take longer”.

It is standard practice to leave the catheter in for 2 weeks after surgery and I sincerely doubt that anyone returns to work 1-2 days after a catheter is removed that has been in place for 2 weeks … do the math.

I will recommend to my doctor that he change that response for future patients.

Please pray for my patience, progress and acceptance. This morning I enjoyed my first walk around the block since removal.

You have been our companions*

Sally & Potters Wheel,

Jo Ann and I deeply appreciate the love, prayer and care given by Potters Wheel over the last few weeks.

I am feeling strong, driving when needed and hope to return to work late this week or next. I attribute my quick recovery to the Love and Peace of Christ expressed through Bethany, COTS and others.

Please direct remaining meals that were planned for us to Barbara & Bryan Buchan.

You have been our companions* sent by God. May the Peace of Christ be with each of you.

Don & Jo Ann

—

* “Not Answers, but The Answerer, by Browning Ware“

When I was younger, I thought that there was probably an answer to every problem. For a time, I knew many of the answers.

I knew about parenting until I had children.

I knew about divorce until I got one.

I knew about suicide until three of my closest friends took their lives in the same year.

I knew about the death of a child until my child died.

I’m not as impressed with answers as once I was. Answers seem so pallid, sucked dry and void of life. Knowing answers seduces us into making pronouncements. I still have a few friends or acquaintances who are 100% sure on most anything, and are ready to make pronouncements on homosexuality, AIDS, teenage pregnancies, abortion, sex education or whatever is coming down the pike. But, when we get shoved into the valley of our shadow, a pronouncement is the last thing we want.

More important and satisfying than answers is the Answerer. “Thou art with me.” That’s what we crave. There may or may not be answers, but God, the Eternal One, would like very much to be our companion.

Catheter was removed yesterday

Ouch! I can’t wike dat. Glad to be rid of it though. Should return to work soon.

Through every wilderness there is a road

Friends & Family,

A few years ago I lost a dear friend and pastor to cancer.

Browning Ware was first my Pastor, but soon became a friend. You may remember him as the Pastor of First Baptist Church of Austin or perhaps you knew his “Diary of a Modern Pilgrim” column in the Austin American Statesman and later published as a book.

Many years after being my Pastor at First Baptist, he became my pastor again at Church of the Savior in Cedar Park. Our tiny church (affectionately known as COTS) was blessed to have Browning as our interim pastor for a time.

One Sunday in a sermon at COTS Browning said, “On every road there is a wilderness. Through every wilderness there is a road.” I recorded that on a scrap of paper and carried it in my wallet.

Browning died in 2002

I invite you to walk with me through this wilderness.

my road

dws.

Staples removed & post-operative biopsy clarified

Yesterday I had my first Doctor visit after surgery. The main purpose was to remove the staples, but I also asked him to clarify the post-operative biopsy results.

On 1/27/06, I reported:
Post operative biopsy:

1) No Cancer in Lymph nodes.
2) No Cancer beyond margin (where surgeon cut).
3) There is one area of concern, which means a small chance of finding Cancer in the future.

Points 2 & 3 were clarified yesterday.

The Prostate has a well defined edge, referred to as the capsule. When removed in surgery the cut is outside the capsule, removing a small amount of tissue that surrounds the capsule. This removed tissue outside the capsule is the margin. The margin is very thin of course.

The ongoing concern in my case is based on the fact that one area of cancer cells did extend through the capsule, but did not reach through the margin.

Visualize an orange that looks fine before peeled, but when you peel it (remove the margin) you discover a blemish that is evident on the inside of the peel but not outside the peel. Sounds like a pretty close call to me!

We also learned another point in the post-operative biopsy. The earlier biopsy returned a Gleason’s Grade of 6 (out of 10), but the post-operative biopsy returned a Gleason’s Grade of 7.

Given this new understanding, my optimistic response is as follows:

1) I’m glad I had this surgery (got rid of that nasty orange).
2) Apparently my cancer was worse than the first biopsy revealed.
3) Apparently my cancer is fully removed, but only time can confirm this.
4) Apparently cancer has not spread to my lymph system (very good news).

Now … this last point is totally my logical speculation. I’m glad I chose my doctor’s conventional slice me open and cut it out technique rather than the newer robot assisted Laparoscopic technique (sometimes called DaVinci). I suspect (and this is my speculation) that the robot assisted method has a thinner margin, which might have left cancer cells not removed in my case.

I’m feeling strong, sleeping well and almost ready to return to work (perhaps next week) with just one large hurdle as far as I know. Monday afternoon I’ll loose the catheter and have to relearn how to function without it.

dws.